Singleness + Valentine’s Day

I know I have been saying it all week, but I love Love.  I love everything about it and I especially love the week of Valentine’s Week.  But it hasn’t always been that way.  For a long time I would go into hiding the week of Valentine’s Day because of singleness.  But that was until I truly understood the importance of what Valentine’s Day meant. 

Valentine’s Day always brought about negative thoughts and emotions for me.  I wanted to avoid the day altogether and would always end the day eating my own pint of ice cream watching wedding videos on Vimeo.  Super healthy right? 

Proverbs 23:7 says: “As a man things, so he is.” 

What we think about ourselves is critical to our attitude and perspective of who we are.  But just as fast as we can think something our mind believes it.  I heard something recently that it takes 30 seconds for our a brain to comprehend a negative thought and 60 seconds for our brain to comprehend a positive thought or compliment.  It is so important that we take our thoughts captive.  This is not just a big moment type of captivity.  The thoughts we need to worry about are the small moments, the every day tasks, the mundane. 

Paul explains it like this: “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.’’ 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

For me, around Valentine’s Day I had to fight to keep a positive mindset.  Philippians 2:14 – Do everything without grumbling or complaining.  I tried to read every book that encouraged me in singleness, that provided insight into why I was single or when I would get married.  For so long my thoughts were around my insecurities – that I wasn’t good enough for someone or God didn’t want to bless me with someone.  

Until the moment I stopped.  

I stopped reading self-help books and started listening to the ultimate self-Helper, Jesus.  He said – “you are single, so that I can have more of you.”  He desired me. He longed for my time and attention. 

For years, I had prayed that a physical man would desire me, that I would be good enough for someone.  And here I had the King of the Universe saying… You are Mine.  I want You. 

It is cliché to say ‘singleness is a blessing’.  I am not going to say that to you. And I even hate the word Waiting.  It has such a negative connotation in our culture.  I like to say this is my prep time. I am preparing for something.  I’m not sure what ‘that’ is that I’m preparing for – but I love to look at all the things I’m involved in and the skills I’m honing, sit back and think… WOW – God is working on some big plans in my life.  Just think, if you are older than about 21 in the south and single the world says what’s wrong with you.  God says, “Just wait child, I’m bringing you big things.” 

Think about like this… a junior varsity football player doesn’t go straight to the NFL.  They have to prepare, and practice, and learn, and be critiqued and grow.  Without all of those steps and the “waiting” they would have never made it to the NFL.  In fact, if a JV football player goes up against the likes of Tom Brady, he will get demolished – so we protect him and help him grow. 

As a sister in Christ, I want to protect you.  God is protecting you.  God is saying I want to put you on the right team so that you can win the Super Bowl of marriage.  So don’t think of your singleness as a bad thing.  Try and imagine how great your “Super Bowl” romance will be.  

So Happy Valentine’s Day.  Throw away the self-help books, the books that try and paint a beautiful picture of singleness because It sucks. BUT. The great Self-Helper tells us that He desires us. He longs for our attention.  So tonight, grab a cup of coffee and sit with Him.  Tell Him how much you love Him and desire Him and How thankful you are for Him.  

I promise.  He will respond. To Singleness. To everything.

I didn’t write this for it to sit in Cyber Space.  Please share this with your friends.  There is someone needing this message today and let yourself be the tool that connects them with it. 

I’m not a theologian or even a pastor.  I’m a 30 year-old (well almost 30) young professional single that desires community, love, and friendship.  Something many of you probably desire as well.  These are my thoughts and are meant to encourage you. 

Share this, respond with your comments below, I would love to hear from you. And here are more of my devotions, if you’d like to dive into these!

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welcome to my table

I’m Abby, and I’m all about setting the table every day and making a simple dinner with easy recipes to enjoy with friends. The inspiration you’ll find here are simple and meant to encourage you to declutter your table and invite friends over! I spend my days working as a marketer for a retail company and dreaming of dinner time. I really hope that through A Table Top Affair you will find a newfound love for your kitchen and that relationships would be formed around your table.

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